Real Men Of the City in the Sun

October 31, 2017 Leave a comment

Heavy lurden

Like a bag of sand on my shoulders, I have struggled my whole life with this burden. From an innocent introduction to sexual activity by a family friend (more like preditor) at a tender age of 3, I have fought the thoughts for over 30years now. Now living in London away from my parents, friends and the life I built in Kenya, I reminise the hope that God brought to my life.

I give God all glory that I have never cracked and become a lunatic. A Throwback moment :- The exposure to sex when a toddler meant that I thought sex was a game. Oh! how I was wrong! I remember when I was first caught by my teacher at around 5years of age, trying to fondle a classmate! I know, crazy, scary! Wow, the beating I got… you know, the kind that is so severe, a$$whooping that sends you to hell and back. You know, the kind that, your held facedown below the sink, receiving lightning spike-like beatings that vapourise your rear from the wrath of an angry parent. I quickly learnt that sex is a taboo, never to be thought or spoken about under my parents’ roof.

In comes my male man cave.. which I went into for many years to hide my burden. It was quickly triggered and escalated to relentless watching of sensual movies and videos, to soft prn, to hardcore VHS tapes masquerading as Tom & Jerry films, to doors of filth on the internet I regret ever opening and eventually prostitution. Chronicles of my life are filled with intense lonely battles from 14 year until I got the courage to speak up and find help when I turned 26.

Hope in the midst of darkness

In 2009, I found a band of brothers, 7 highly valued brothers, during my time in Mavuno church, in the same boat as I was, willing to each other to conquer this beast. Tough love, is exactly what I got and what we all needed and I found it through the iStopped group dubbed “G7”. In 2012 it simple became a group of born-again men, who I have walked with for the last 5 years through my recovery journey.  I learnt that accountability starts with me. If you are patient to walk with someone for a couple of months, you will see the difference.


We initially met every week on a Tuesday night for a year, and went through a book recommended by the Man @PastorSimonMbevi, “Every man’s battle”. It was liberating, a true hidden treasure worth experiencing; We now meet every first Friday of the month now in South C/ N.West from 6.30am – 9.30am, to hold each other accountable and men have really been transformed. I have seen men moving from additive behaviour that used to lead them to red-light streets, cheating, now into rich, healthy, marriages free of sexual bondage. Wives and spouses, including mine played a great role in supporting the men, holding them accountable at home and joinly praying that this wolf does not affect their relationships.

These sessions works, you have to be honest with yourself and the men and mark up courage to confront your problem, surrendering them all to God. It is written “Confess your sins one unto another so that you may be healed”. Jesus showed me his love throught the men, while maintaining a gentleman’s pact of highest level of confidentiality of matters discussed every week.

Art of war

The battle plan we have been using is simple. It is based on the book “Every man’s battle” i.e. you have to allow God to fight through your;

  1. Eyes ; (Job 31:1 – I make a covenant with my eyes not to look at any woman lustfully);
  2. Mind; (2 Corinthians 10:5 – Hold all thoughts captive under the obedience of Christ Jesus, 1 Corinthians10:13 – No temptation is unique to man, others have gone through it and God gives you a way out. Many have overcome e.g. Joseph in Egypt, samaritan woman)
  3. Heart; (Psalms 119:9 How can a young man keep his ways pure? by hiding the word of God in his heart.) Dedicate your life to a relationship with God consistently in surrender)

If your eyes are your perimeter fence and your mind is the walls of the house, then your mind is like the panga that you put under your bed. Gen 39:9 ‘How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?’  

Hats off to you all men of G7.

OUR OBJECTIVE :- You should not fight this vice alone. If you have to, only one strategy is effective 1 Cor 6:18 says ‘Flee from all forms of sexual immorality!’ We beat the devil through offense, but when it comes to sexual temptation, we must play defense!

Join us if you need help! Leave a comment or request to join the Facebook page for more details



Today we want to want to focus on the men and the title of my message is ‘Real Husbands Of Nairobi’. We want to talk about real men. This sermon is not just for the men, but also for the women who love them, live with them or simply just want to understand them! The whole region was thrown in shock in July 2013 when two men from Kisauni agreed to sign a contract to marry the smae woman when they both realized they were having an affair with her. The agreement stated when each would take their shift in her house, how they would respect one another, and how if she gave birth they would both raise the child as their own. One of the men had already paid bride price for the woman but the other one agreed that he would also pay his bride price when ready…

View original post 3,587 more words


Why I am not an atheist

September 4, 2014 Leave a comment

Hi guys,

I great you in Jesus name. I hope you have been well. Please take some time to listen to Dr. Ravi Zacharias who is a christian apologetic. His faith is just so amazing as he communicates it through logic to university students. Amazing… he has read more than 7000 books… crazy? I know!! I haven’t read 10 books in my lifetime.

Watch this.

Categories: Uncategorized

Dreams and Sex

March 26, 2014 1 comment

I great you all in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and savior. Today I blog about sex dreams and the part they play in sexual sin. It was at around 3am, on 2 nights, the 24th and 25th Mar 2014, when I got very vivid sexual dreams, that could be equated to a sexual experience. The exaggerated familiarity of some of the faces in the dreams and the extreme pulled me to do what I resolved not do. The intensity and disgust left within my spirit left a bitter taste in my mouth. The dream was not just sex with a woman, but was borderline weird fetish-like to nightmare. This thing defiling me was definitely not of this world. I remember feeling that this was my sister, though I looked at her and she looked nothing like it. “A familiar spirit”. The setting was on the bed that I grew up on at my parents place. When I wake up I sensed the peril that lied before me. Nothing that I can explain I have seen or experience. Therefore, my conclusion was that the devil simply wanted to defiled my spirit so that I can fall to my previous devices – using malevolent forces because he knew I was strong in the Holy Spirit against sexual temptation in the physical realm. I was so disturbed that I couldn’t go to work the last day.Image

I am encouraged by the word in Deut 28:7 knowing the devil is a defeated foe.

(Deut 28:7 The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.)

It is funny how in this life, battles won elsewhere can easily be lost on other grounds.The past few weeks have been filled with battle and to the glory of God, victory over sexual temptation. An argument may be used that I might exposed myself to sensuality  thus this experience. On the contrary I have been consistently proactively engaging the battle plan;

  • eyes- bouncing my eyes from all lustful looks,
  • mind – using the word as a sword and my faith as a shield
  • heart – fighting for my relationship with God, marriage, child(ren) and future

I did a bit of study on this a while back and I came across a demon called “succubus”. This is a female demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping men. I have no reference of this in the bible, but I know that the bible doesn’t answer all questions we might have. So, upon waking up that day, I prayed through the power of the Holy Spirit and by the shed blood of Jesus on the cross against the spirit of succubus. The demon has no power over me anymore and even if it comes back, I will keep fighting it. James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Many people do not know this, but what happens in the spiritual realm manifests in the physical realm. To put it to context, the dreams that I had were meant to create a feeling of sinful sexual desire, guilt and self condemnation; so that I resolve to get satisfaction from anything other than my wife.  Some men won’t really see the sense in this argument, but the motive of this is to drive you to sexual immorality. The spirit realm work very differently from the physical one.

I give glory to God because I can reach out to Him, through his Son Jesus in prayer and to a group of prayer warriors at that time. In summary;

  1. I prayed against spirit of succubus and cancelled every evil effect of the dreams in Jesus name,
  2. I sent a distress call to my G7 group, a sexual accountability group for prayer
  3. I talked to my wife who also prayed with me about it
  4. My defenses went on an all time high. I was encouraging myself with scripture constantly, just like Jesus fought temptation against the devil with scripture.

If you are or have gone through this, the solution is simple,

1. Surrender to God , know the truth

  •  1 John 1:6  If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth (about Jesus).
  • 2 Thessalonians 2:10  and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth (about Jesus) and so be saved.
  • 2 Thessalonians 2:13  But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth.

2. Against the devil play offense, but against sexual sin play defense, 

  • “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” 1 Cor 6:18

Saturday morning class (7-9am) – Help for sexual struggles

July 15, 2013 Leave a comment


Through long and painful experience, we came to realize that we were powerless over our sexual thoughts and behaviours. Our preoccupation as men with sex causes progressively severe adverse consequences for us, our families, and our friends. Despite many failed promises to ourselves and attempts to change, we discovered that we were unable to stop acting out sexually by ourselves. As a fellowship of men of valour, i-Stopped class offers a message of hope to anyone who suffers from sex struggles. This class is held in South C with support of Mavuno church leadership on Saturday 7am to 9am for 8 – 12 weeks.

So here is a small test we came up with as a self evaluation. Imagine God asking you these questions not for condemnation but to help you.

Do you feel like you been alone in this fight, please keep a mental note of the answers or  comment your answers on this survey.

1. Please indicate gender:
2. Indicate Orientation:
 Heterosexual  Bisexual  Homosexual
3. I have no concerns about my sexual behavior but am curious how I would score.
4. I have no concerns about my sexual behavior but others are concerned.
5. I am having problems with my sexual behavior but do not consider myself a “sex addict.”
6. I know I struggle with sexual desires.
7. I have sought therapy because of a sexual problems.
8. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
9. Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior?
10. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
11.  Do you feel overwhelmed by your sexual desire?
See the full survey if you feel you might be addicted see the link here
…And just for laughs… I know some of you might resonate with this.
Categories: Pornography Tags:

Fun the flame of God in you

July 15, 2013 Leave a comment

Are you ready to be consumed by the fire of God? Keep the fire burning in you.

Jesus Didn’t “Just” Die On The Cross…

April 1, 2013 Leave a comment

Jesus Christ didn’t “just” die on the cross for us.
He gave up the chance to get married,
To have children,
To watch them grow,
To teach them to walk,
To teach them to talk,
To hold them in His arms.
He gave up the opportunity to have a career,
… To be successful in business,
To make a name for himself,
To be a community leader.
He gave up sunrises and sunsets,
Stargazing and full moons,
And listening to the waves crash against the shore.
He gave up the chance to sit around the fire with friends,
To tell jokes and to laugh at himself.

He gave up the chance to have every good thing people cherish in this life in exchange for a wooden cross, three nails, and a slow, excruciating death.

He gave up those things, He made that exchange, so you and I wouldn’t “just” have those things to look forward to at the start of each day.

Something to think about this Easter season.


Categories: Pornography

Between Us Guys : The Truth About Pornography [video]

April 1, 2013 2 comments

Amazing blog post. Please check it out.

Combat with porn is probably (still) the biggest issue Christian men wrestle with that no one talks about. Serious discussions about sexuality are embarrassing and uncomfortable. Too many churches are silent. And many are not proactive regarding faith-based sex education.

Lessons like this one can break the ice and be used to introduce a more comprehensive curriculum that is desperately needed in many Christian homes and churches. We can’t afford to become even more irrelevant and unconvincing in today’s rapidly changing culture.

Ref: Between Us Guys (Part 3): The Truth About Pornography .

Source: Darrell Martin and

%d bloggers like this: