Home > Lust of the eyes, Masturbation, Porn, Pornography, Pornography addiction, Sex addiction > Brian-T Testimony – Sexual Pirity

Brian-T Testimony – Sexual Pirity

I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation since I was 12 years old. I would look at different pornographic magazines and masturbate at various bookstores growing up. I continued this addiction throughout my high school life and I took this addiction to college with me. I grew up in the church and knew what I was doing was wrong but did it anyways (just like Paul speaks about Romans 7). In college, I met the love of life and knew that God gave her to me to love and cherish always. The thing that was a wedge in our marriage was my pornography and masturbation addiction. I would look at different pornographic websites when she was at work and I was by myself at home masturbating. I wanted to be the husband that God has called me to be but pornography and masturbation always loomed its ugly head. Pornography and masturbation caused me to not be the godly father and husband that I was created by God to be.

In May 2009, after my wife and I watched Fireproof, I related to Caleb and told myself that I needed to make a change. I was doing well but 6 weeks later I was back at it again…looking at pornography and masturbating.

It wasn’t until May 16, 2010 that I heard the small, still of God telling me that I needed to change because it was my eternal life on the line. I fell to my knees and cried to the Lord to please break the chains of pornography in my life for good. I told Pastor John and other Christian men that I have met through the Every Man’s Battle website and Facebook group page about my pornography and masturbation addiction. Six weeks later, I looked at pornography and masturbated but I felt guilty and ashamed with myself. I cried to the Lord and told him that I do not want to look at pornography and masturbate ever again. I leaned on the other Christian men in my life for support and encouragement. God told me that “Son, you are forgiven. I love you and I will hold your hand through this storm. You are not alone.”

On June 29, 2010, I left my pornography and masturbation addiction at the cross and never looked back. On October 7, 2010, I celebrated 100 days of being pornography and masturbation free surrounded by 4 other Christian men in my Life Group. I give all the glory to God for breaking the chains of pornography in my life forevermore. On October 29th, I celebrated 4 months of being pornography free.

God has taught me some wonderful things on this life changing journey that I hope can help you, too. First, in order to ward off the temptations of the devil I put on the armor of God every single day. The struggle that I face “is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12).” Every morning as I arise I pray that the armor of God would be on me. Next, God has taught me to not fight this battle alone. This is when Satan will attack you the most. You need to surround yourself with other Christian men who can support and pray for you. As Solomon says in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Finally, I learned that the only way to stay close to God is pray to him and read his Word daily. I have memorized battle verses that I can go to when I feel tempted. My favorite one is Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe.” If you call on the name of the Lord, he will deliver you from this temptation. I have done it numerous times and it does work.

I give glory and praise to God every day for breaking the chains of pornography and masturbation in my life and my life is so much better because of Him. I love my wife and daughter more and more each day with the love that the Lord has shown me. My eyes have been opened to God’s beauty around me.

If you are dealing with a pornography and masturbation addiction, God wants to break these chains. He did that in my life and I know that he can do it in yours.

  1. John Diego
    December 29, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    I love your testimony, almost all the same thing that is happening to me.
    Do you have an email where we can talk more?
    John Diego

  2. cat
    January 4, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    my life is a mess bcoz of masturbation, n lately pornography. I have tried hard to stop it but get nowhere really fast. I’d like to believe that am saved but repeating the same prayer over and over just doesnt cut it anymore. I feel like God is tired of me etc. I have a friend and he keeps telling me to find a girl that i can talk to, and i just cant, i tried though. Am a girl n si kawaida to get a girl hooked to the things i am. Worse still i engaged in sex not a few times…(long story) i feel like giving up. I think that u r probably wondering how you can help me, dont do that i just wanted to share. Btw, thanks 4 the testimony. Baraqa

    • January 10, 2011 at 10:01 am

      Hi Fiesty Cat,
      Thanks for blogging. Believe me, this issue is more common with women than you think. God promised me that He would deliver many though my testimony and He is. I am humbled that God touched you though my story and He is refining me like silver everyday. I believe that you are saved but remember, its not by power nor by might but by the spirit of God. All is well, God has saved you by grace and I pray that He shines His mercy on you.

      As I did, you should purge all the porn you have and I advice you to fast and pray about this issue. Sexual sin has a strong attachment to the spiritual realm. Please take some time off from work e.g. 3 days and go on a prayer & fasting exile to pray against the bondage.

      Second, Please, please get a strong christian woman, who can be your accountability partner. It might be your mentor or something, but its extremely important to keep sharing your success and failure so that she can cry with you and pray with you without judging you.

      I will keep you in prayer.

    • January 8, 2012 at 11:38 am

      Hello Feisty Cat,

      Thanks for sharing your story! When I was struggling, I literally couldn’t imagine myself being free from this, ever. However, I just want to say if you want to be free from this, YOU CAN BE FREE. I started this site for girls struggling with this addiction. If you ever need anyone to talk to please email me! We are NOT alone.


      -an EX-femalepornaddict

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