Home > Masturbation, Porn, Pornography, Pornography addiction > Is masturbation right?

Is masturbation right?


This Sunday,  I shared in church my struggle with porn and masturbation and WOW! God is really moving in this initiative and ministry. A special thanks to Pastor Linda for according me such honor.

Masturbation isn’t specifically addressed in Scripture, the Bible gives us principles for leading a pure and holy life that clearly point to the wrongness of it.

Proper Sex

The first and most obvious reason that masturbation is wrong is because it goes against God’s purpose for sex. Although our society has perverted sex to the extent that it has become a self-centered act, God created it to be a function of marriage. There is no room for sex outside of marriage.

Worldly minded teachers tell us though, that we have pent-up desires that must be “relieved.” They say that God created us to need sex and wouldn’t expect us to go without it. What they don’t realize is that sex is a desire that God gave us; not a need. People who have learned to walk in the Spirit, have been overcoming these desires for thousands of years.

Also, Paul gave the answer to this problem when he said “if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” It is clear by his words here that Scripture gives only two alternatives to this problem. The person must either exercise self control or they must marry. God doesn’t allow sin as a third alternative.

Feeding the Flesh

Another reason we know that masturbation is wrong is because it is another form of self-gratification. Throughout Scripture self-gratification is denounced. Over and over again we are told how important it is that we don’t allow the flesh to dominate our thinking or our actions. The following verses are but two that deal with this:

For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so; and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. (Romans 8:6-8)

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please…

Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry… (Galatians 5:16-20)

Why is masturbation a sin? It is a sin because when we masturbate we “gratify the desires of the flesh,” which we would not do if we were walking in and living by the Spirit. Let us make this point clear. If we are walking in the Spirit and living by faith, we will not gratify the lusts of the flesh.

“So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.” Romans 14:22-23

Masturbation is a sin because it does not come from faith. I cannot believe the promises of God to supply my every need (Phil. 4:19), to make a way out of every temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13), to keep me from falling (Jude 24), and fall to self-gratification at the same time. Masturbation is not of faith, therefore it is sin.

I trust that this article will get through to someone as it did for me.
i-Stopped.
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  1. Alexx Ciru Ndegwa
    April 18, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Hey..

    That was powerful testimony you gave at Mavuno…Brave in fact..

    When Pastor Linda call upon the speaker to talk about his addiction to masturbation and porn, where I sat, there was a collective gasp..and jaws remained on the ground as you testified..

    What I found absolutely profound was your eloquence and ease at which you tackled a topic that in Kenya is never talked about..shunned even..

    Your straight to the point attitude and brazen application of the facts soon got some of the jaws of the ground and I could hear some sighs of acknowledgement to the fact that this is a reality we (Kenyans)do not want to deal with..

    So, Keep up the great work..and thanx..for you bravery!!!

    • April 19, 2011 at 10:04 am

      Hey Alexx,
      Thanks for the encouragement and compliment. Glory goes back to the good name of the Lord for touching lives through my testimony, honesty and courage. Many people do not speak about this evil but I know God will do a great work in Africa through this ministry. I will visit all churches in Kenya is possible to share my testimony. Spread the word, Asante kwa Baraka n God bless you as well. Kindly frequent the blog and keep encouraging those in this tough journey.

  2. lucy
    April 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    hey,
    Thanks for sharing. The testimony was astounding. My story is this. For me masturbation began when i wz a baby. i cn rem from 4yrs. I noted also not only me but my cousins of the same age, even my sisters much older. It wz nt bcoz any of us were molestd, i think it wz kids bn kids. The problem came, as i grew up i got exposed to Porn from my friends hs in class 7. My friends parents used to watch at night and their daughter in class 5 got a hand of it n we decided to see wat they were watching. Ofcourse till today such scenes are still very clear in my mind. Pliz parents don’t expose ur kidz to such. Nway, i still struggle with it.

    I had quit for sometime b4 i got involved with a guy lst yr and it got physical. I finally broke it off and we no longer communicate. From my observation when i get immersed in the word and don’t watch movies, series that hv sexual scenes, i overcome. However when i immerse myself in series with such scenes or make out with a guy(which for now i don’t do), it affects me.

    Do u think i still need help, or cn i jst overcome it on my own. I mean i cn quit watching such series so why tell anyone? I say this coz no one else knows about it. I feel it’s easier for guyz to reveal they hv masturbation issues as it’s expected of them. However as ladies am yet to come across one who openly says, I have this specific problem. One may say they slp around, or drink bt never this issue. Help

    • April 19, 2011 at 4:54 pm

      Hey Lucy,
      Wow, first of all let me apologise for what you were exposed to at such an early stage on behalf of those that did. I have come across several women who more boldly than men, declare that they have beaten this bondage. I have one quote for you in 1 Cor 10, “..be careful when you think you can stand, lest you fall.”

      One important lesson I have learnt about sexual bondage is that you cannot do it alone and it flares in secrecy and solitude. You need a band of sisters to walk with you through the battles of life, a life line to call upon after prayer to keep you accountable for your actions. David had an army of knights, Moses had Aaron and Joshua, Jesus had his disciples.

      From your comment, I can tell You are a strong woman but you cannot beat life alone. God is there to assist in all situation (He will take you through this) but you need REAL friends to pull you up when you fall and fortify the walk.

    • December 26, 2011 at 3:35 am

      Hey Lucy,

      I don’t know if you’ll see this comment, but it is true that you cannot do this alone, it WILL thrive in darkness. Feel free to email me, I will be there every step of the way for you if you need it.

  3. Mossana
    April 19, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing your story on Sunday it was fearless and honest. That was what we call fearless influencing and i am proud to know you.
    Lucy- i am a lady as well who went through the same issues of masturbation from a young age. i don’t know from where i learnt it but for me it helped me relax and feel better.
    I combined this with drinking alcohol and sleeping around as i grew older but always after i used to masturbate i would feel lost and empty inside.
    Still as a born again christian it is something that i struggled with and as much as i stopped the drinking, smoking and partying lifestyle and sleeping around i would still masturbate.
    One day i had coffee with this fearless man who i can call my friend. He told me the extent of how bad masturbation can get for an individual. It begins with watching normal sexual scenes, to beastiality then to four soms, lesbianism and gaysim and many more insane things.This really shook me as he explained to me that the normal becomes the abnormal. When he shared where he had come from and how the Lord had delivered him i was so convicted.
    From that day hence forth i just kept myself busy and would find myself worshipping, praising and praying to God when i felt the triggers of wanting to masturbate.
    I have gone through lows when i feel like i want to masturbate but the praise and worship helps me a lot .
    Funny thing is that once you can deal with one trigger the rest come in less spasms, and over a short period of time.
    For me that is what worked and i hope it works for you too. Also having someone that keeps you accountable can help you deal with a milestone.

  4. thekenyannutcase
    April 19, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    hi dude
    that was really brave of you that to go up and talk about your story in Church.big up

    as for your post, i love the fact that you note the bible does not directly say that masturbation is wrong/sin.i remember we once had this debate on the blog.

    i still hold that we will need to find an indirect answer from the bible like what you have tried to highlight. it however needs to be dichotomous in nature for the word of God is a double edged sword.

    i’d say it this way, masturbation is wrong when it is an obsession to do it or an obsession to stop doing it. this is a faithful saying.

    coz when you put it in a marriage context is it still sin?

    i believe we all discover God in our journey/walk with Him.lets keep falling in love with His word

    • April 19, 2011 at 8:02 pm

      Hey Kenyan Nutecase,
      I hear you on the subject of masturbation not being wrong. Let me throw one question back to you, when you say “masturbation is wrong when it is an obsession to do it or an obsession to stop doing it” which basis are you applying, what’s your justification, ‘world view or the gospel of Christ?’ Think about it.

      1 John 1:8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

      I saw a great article that might clear up this for you. http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/resources/article/masturbation-doorway-slavery/

  5. April 20, 2011 at 12:40 am

    Can i respond 2 the article u’ve shared?i must say the reasns the those guys were putting 4 mastbtn 2b okay r very flimsy or the author pickd weak reasns 2 make his arguement strong.
    For the record,i rather b quoted on how masturbation becomes sin
    the author has tried tying ths verses n masturbation
    1cor7:8-9
    it is def gr8 advice 4 ppl 2 gt married but not as a solution 4 lust.i interprate ths vs 2b talkng bout biological feelings n nt lust-a strong desire/obsession-in ths contxt sexual.marriage is a pure n noble union of love.mastbtn hr is far fetchd
    2cor10:3-5
    “…and every high thng which is liftd against the knwlgd of God”i find ths 2 b key.mike says masturbtn is ‘not a gift from God.’is ths really a true knowldge of God?i believe sex is a gift 4m God.had in its proper contxt(marriage)in all manner of expressns btw the couple.hence,2 put heavy chains of legalism sayng it is wrong n a carefree msg of its ok “is a wrong knwldg of God’
    gal5:16-17
    “…evil desires of the flesh.in psalms it says delight urself in the lord n he’l gv u the desires of ur heart.if u desire wat is pure,praiseworthy,honorable eg sex in marriage it is a gd desire.let me say,thr is a difference btwn sexual fantasy n sexual lust.the fantasy is 4m God.lust the devil.thr is also lust disgusd as fantasy esp in d occult
    rom6:19-20
    gr8 vs 4 any1 obssesd bout doing it or stopping.
    rom8:5
    Mix ths with phil4:8 n u hv a winner.we(xthians) hv bin set free.
    rom8.8
    reminds me of parable of the sower n also 1cor3:3-4wd,dat shows u cn hv the natural man who does nt knw God(completly in the flesh),the wordlx xtian(often tms in the flesh),the spiritual man(smtms in the flesh)
    as 2 wea i gt my concludng thots pls do a BS on extremism n see wat u conclude rathr than me forcng “my doctrine”on u.
    who is an authority on ths subject?is it ppl who do it,done it,never dn it…i’d say it’s ur testimony that counts jst lk d blind man dat jesus heald n he didnt care.as 4 doctrine,thy r endless n i fear sharing.pls check my blog 2 wat am wrestlng 2dy.gr8 job.

    • April 20, 2011 at 11:42 am

      Your argument based on the Gospel on Extremism sounds very confusing to me. I will stick with what the Holy Spirit reveals to me as I read the word. Though Questions are good. I understand you. Please get some clarity from the letters written to Timothy in the Bible. They might shed some light on your questions.

  6. aanduuru
    April 24, 2011 at 8:17 am

    Thx. I have masturbated 4 eighteen years. Im 33 next wk. 2day im at a crossroad. Im tired of rejection for jobs i apply 4, outside the family business and from women. The temptation 2 visit a brothel is strong on account of the voices in my head that i cant get someone who feels the same way about me as i feel about them…this voices get very loud. Ive been praying 2 the Lord…but ive been disappointed in the past…maybe what and the one ive been praying 4 will never come. Its a terrible time living in doubt and fear…need a breakthrough yesterday

    • April 26, 2011 at 4:27 pm

      Mr. Aanduuru,
      I feel you man. I had gotten to the point where this bondage had stolen so much from me before I said ‘enough is enough.’ God will do it for you. He did it for me so he can do it for you too. I will send you a free program which has really helped me. You have to be very dedicated to complete it man. http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/courses/way-of-purity/

  7. In need of help
    April 25, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    Hello,
    Thank you for sharing your story in church last week and indeed for yeilding to God to use you in this great work. With God revealing to you about the extent to which this is an issue in our churches today, those statistics may look shocking but it is indeed a real issue.
    Masterbation is something I have struggled with and continue to struggle with to this very day. As a young girl I was sexually abused at 4 years of age by my headmistresses son, under whos care we were momentarily. I did not speak to anyone about it for fear of reproach. However, growing up, my barriers have been practically nonexistent, rendering me to be very carefree sexually at one point in my life. For a couple of years, I did not indulge in sexual practices. However, in the last couple of months this monster has resurfaced and in a space of 5 weeks I had sexual encounters with three different men. I am so ashamed of it and have not been able to confide in anyone. I NEED HELP!!
    I am cognizant of the exposure to danger I have placed myself in by doing this and the hurt I have caused to God and I want out!
    Please advice.

    • April 26, 2011 at 11:06 am

      Hey I need help!

      First of all, the evil one wants you to see this bondage as if its an unconquerable mountain which it is not. Sexual sin is the same as lying in God’s eyes. If you remember the story of the Samaritan Woman at the well with Jesus, John 4:1-26, He did not treat her as if she had the worst sin in the world. He said in passing you had 5 husbands. You have to understand this before your healing takes place. Sexual sin is the same as all other sins to God. So all of us are not worthy to be called His own because we are all sinners. God will forgive you only is you ask because you have been saved by His grace. The Holy spirit have given us a great fruit “Self control” which can help us on this bondage. After repenting, remember Rom 8:1 Therefore there is no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus.

      I understand what you are going through and I know how tough it can get. This drug, lust, emanates from a root cause. For me it was unforgiveness and stressful situations. You have to analyse the root cause of why you are sleeping with all the men. Is it a longing for acceptance? Loneliness, boredom, stress, fatigue, anxiety…?

    • January 8, 2012 at 11:32 am

      Hello,

      Thanks for sharing your story! When I was struggling, I literally couldn’t imagine myself being free from this, ever. However, I just want to say if you want to be free from this, YOU CAN BE FREE. I started this site for girls struggling with this addiction. If you ever need anyone to talk to please email me! We are NOT alone.

      http://www.femalepornaddicts.wordpress.com

      -an EX-femalepornaddict

  8. October 31, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    Very thought provoking !
    Keep blogging .

    • November 1, 2012 at 10:01 am

      Thanks Project44, much appreciated. What are your thoughts on this?

      • November 1, 2012 at 12:43 pm

        To be honest,i am not sure what to say…especially when it takes the dimension of sin….or is it sin or is it bad? I don know…..I think this is where i say “work out your salvation with fear and trembling- sometimes,we have to seek our own answers.
        At project44,we blog about relationships,and i think i feel inept to dissect masturbation ( giggling). Visit us when you can !can.

      • November 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

        Wow…thank you for your honest thoughts. I will visit you and see what you have on relatioships which is a topic I encounter a lot when dealing with addicts and visitors through my blog.

  9. Mary
    January 7, 2013 at 4:24 am

    many thanks, i am married but separated from my family due to immigration problems. i watch porn and masturbate to satisfy my sexual urge, as i do not want to extra material affairs. will my peculiar circumstance be classed as a sin?

    • January 8, 2013 at 5:40 am

      Can I answer… 🙂
      Mary, so courageous for asking the question and putting yourself out there. You’re seeking and I know you’ll find an answer. I’m going to be very frank with my answer because I feel it is the only way to find freedom, being black and white. This is definitely classed as a sin. You are not only sinning against your spouse, but the people involved in the images you view are also victims. It may be hard to think about that being behind a computer screen, but you are engaging in an act that God gave to us as a gift, and intends to keep as a gift. Instead of attempting to fill the emptiness of being away from family, or home, with another desire that doesn’t satisfy, go to God’s pure word, that is clean and that satisfies! If you have more questions you can message me at femalepornaddicts@gmail.com

      -an EX-FemalePornAddict

  10. Polly
    August 4, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    It’s actually a nice and helpful piece of info. I’m happy that you shared this helpful info with us.
    Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

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