Home > Encouragement, Homosexuality, Lust of the eyes, Masturbation, Porn, Pornography, Pornography addiction, sex, Sex addiction > Affected by a person living in sin, in addiction, in sexual sin

Affected by a person living in sin, in addiction, in sexual sin

Hey, you, yeah you, please comment at the end, I need feedback on this…

Some of the most common issues I have had to deal with in the past are rather extra-ordinary. I have heard these, not from the person struggling, but from the people who they go to. All together, I thank God for exposing to me the extent of hurt that sin, more specifically sexual sin causes to those around us. For example;Image

  • a wife/girlfriend of an man who confesses sexual sin,
  • a friend or a girlfriend of a guy/girl who turns up to be a homosexual,
  • a guy who finds out that the wife/girlfriend is a addicted to sex.
  • a parent who identified a child with a weird sexual habit e.g. touching another girls/boys parts or masturbating
  • a parent/guardian/teacher who catches a child practicing voyeurism (fetish of seeing people naked)
  • a spouse to a partner who is confess/ caught committing adultery/fornication

How can someone deal with such? In the bible the book of John 8:1-10, Jesus was presented with such an individual; pharisees who caught an adulterous woman in the act. They tried to trick him to confess that she deserves punishment according to the Mosaic law in the old testament. However, Jesus, our Lord and saviour who gave us grace, told them that if any of them has never sinned let him/her stone the lady.  To our shock, most of them left one by one with the oldest going first.

What a powerful way of demonstrating that in God’s eyes all of us are sinners. It doesn’t matter whether it is a lie, a sexual lustful thought or sexual sin (all are sins), God’s love and grace, as shown to the adulterous woman, is enough to forgive us. As human beings, we magnify some sins above others based on our carnal minds forgetting that God’s standard of holiness is apart from us and can only be attained through Jesus Christ’ righteousness at the cross. God’s hates the sin not the sinner, he loves you and wants you to repent (confess and turn away from sin).

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness


From my short experience in dealing with sexual sinners, I have learnt several things;

  1. Never condemn the person who sins. Separate the person from the sin and walk with that person to the realization of who he/she is in Christ.
  2. Come down to that individuals level and understand what lead to them acting the way they did. May be they were exposed to the behavior by someone else and didn’t know any better when it happened
  3. Learn what God standard is and leave the example, by what you watch, listen to, speak, read, stand for. Impart that same standard through the word to the person gently.
  4. Help the person come up with an action plan by themselves and help them get accountability. If you can walk with the person through it. Ownership of accountability is on both partners, not one.
  5. Pray for the person and yourself for wisdom.

I praise God that someone, Pastor Chris Gatihi, took time to walk with me and impart the word of God, God’s standard in my heart where I have hidden it to stay pure.

Psalms 119:9-11

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
    do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart
    that I might not sin against you.

  1. Praying for a wife
    July 17, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    I love your writing and the ideas that come with it. Keep on keeping.

    Mine is a up-hill task but the Holy Spirit has been so faithful. I began masturbation very young (By the way do you know there is a very bad way to mastabate? Mastabation prone, or something… google it), then graduated to prosmisquity when I got my job… missing out on two wonderful women, either of which I’d have been lucky to call a wife, now In my mid 30’s. I’ve sought prostitutes, I’ve sought group sex, I was addicted to strip clubs and pornography.

    I’m glad I’m now saved and under the protection of Christ. But it did come with its costs… I lost my job, a good job because of my sexual addiction. I got herpes, an STD I’ll live with for the rest of my life (I thank God it wasn’t HIV), I have to live with the fact I helped procure abortions, twice and at 34 I’m still a single man with no girlfriend and no true friends.

    I say it’s up-hill, because once in a while when I’m depressed, I’ll browse porn. But every day I cry unto God, to cleanse me, to give me a good woman, to make my life whole and more importantly to make me a man worthy of HIM.

    • July 18, 2012 at 9:11 am

      Praying for a wife,
      Thank you for sharing so honestly. I appreciate that you are getting out of sexual addiction. God is merciful to get you out of this and is faithful to heal you only if you truly repent (confessing & literally turning away from sin and hating it). From what you are saying I gather you are still in bondage and want to get out. Please take time to think about as it will be a worthwhile journey. If you need my help, I am willing to walk with you through it all. I also lived a life of rebellion, in porn, prostitution, strip clubs, fornication and chronic masturbation 3-4times a day so I relate with you.

      God gave me victory through the course Way of Purity on settingcaptivesfree.com and having regular accountability sessions which a man who was placed in my path by God.

      Will say a prayer for you bro.
      Ibrahim Gathungu

      • Praying for a wife
        July 18, 2012 at 10:31 am

        I believe there is a reason God lead me to your blog. Yes, I’d like to be held accountable too, yes I believe that two heads are better than one and yes, your help would be God sent.

      • July 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

        I will send you an email boss then we can chat more. Baraka

    • Kirk
      July 18, 2012 at 11:16 am

      Praying for a wife,
      God will see you through and you will surely get a wife. remember that He (God) sent his son to die for our sins and intervene in all our situations. YOU ONLY JUST NEED TO SURRENDER IT ALL TO HIM. and HE will see you through it.

  2. Kirk
    July 18, 2012 at 9:54 am

    Great Work Ibra,

    May God continue leading you on this path of transforming other man/women who are stuck in bondage of masturbation, homosexuality, pornography etc. I pray that he continues using you daily.

    • July 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm

      Thanks Kirk,
      I highly appreciate the feedback. Glad to see you are back safe to normal duties. God bless you and your wife bro.

  3. untonyto
    August 8, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    A lot of today’s much hyped “sexual liberation” is really bondage to sin. It takes a lot of vigilance. This stuff is everywhere.

  4. girl
    February 22, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    Hey! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading through your articles.Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that go over the same topics? Thanks!

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: