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Posts Tagged ‘i stopped’

Between Us Guys : The Truth About Pornography [video]

April 1, 2013 2 comments

Amazing blog post. Please check it out.

Combat with porn is probably (still) the biggest issue Christian men wrestle with that no one talks about. Serious discussions about sexuality are embarrassing and uncomfortable. Too many churches are silent. And many are not proactive regarding faith-based sex education.

Lessons like this one can break the ice and be used to introduce a more comprehensive curriculum that is desperately needed in many Christian homes and churches. We can’t afford to become even more irrelevant and unconvincing in today’s rapidly changing culture.

Ref: Between Us Guys (Part 3): The Truth About Pornography .

Source: Darrell Martin and SameSexAttractions.wordpress.com

1 Samuel 27: In a season of unfaithfulness turn to prayer

September 27, 2012 Leave a comment

From: 1 Samuel 27: In a season of unfaithfulness turn to prayer.

With such a heroic Biblical character like David, it’s hard to believe that at times he would struggle with his faith. However, after being hunted down day after day by Saul it looks as though David has finally hit a breaking point.

“Then David said in his heart, “Now I shall perish one day by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than that I should escape to the land of the Philistines. Then Saul will despair of seeking me any longer within the borders of Israel, and I shall escape out of his hand.” (Verse: 1)

David might not have said this out loud to anyone. But he says it in the heart, which is where the true sin nature of our lives manifest themselves. David in his heart now feels as though that he will die by the hand of Saul if he continues to live in Israel. And despite all the works that the Lord has done in his life in order to keep him safe from the hands of Saul, David feels as though it is up to him to leave Israel and move in amongst the pagan worshiping Philistines in order to survive.

“And David lived with Achish at Gath, he and his men, every man with his household, and David with his two wives, Ahinoam of Jezreel, and Abigail of Carmel, Nabal’s widow. And when it was told Saul that David had fled to Gath, he no longer sought him. (Verses: 3 &4)

Hence, David is going through a time where his faith is starting to waiver. But, instead of crawling back toward the Lord seeking his grace, he runs even further away from him toward to a land of false Gods, which was the exact fear David talked about in chapter 26.

“for they have driven me out this day that I should have no share in the heritage of the LORD, saying, ‘Go, serve other gods.’(1 Samuel 26:19)

So often this is the case in our own lives. When he feel a time of hardships, troubles and grief come over us, instead of falling depend upon the Lord we run from him. We look to our own abilities to fix our struggles instead of seeking fellowship with the sovereign Lord who can heal.

And what’s troubling about this chapter is that not once do we see David seeking council from the Lord. Instead, he elects to follow his own will in order to fix the struggles of his heart.

For that reason, the biggest recommendation I have for readers is to pray. Pray consistently throughout the day and allow your heart to open up to the Lord in order to further the maturity of your faith and feel his presence upon you.

Prayer is the strongest way we can personally fellowship with God. Therefore, look at your own prayer life in order to help determine how much personal fellowship you are having with the Lord daily. As fellowship leads to faithfulness in the Lord and keeps us continuing to seek his grace in all situations that follow.

His Humbled Servant,

W.H. Carston

Surfing for God

September 12, 2012 6 comments

Why Is A Book About Porn Addiction Called “Surfing for God”? 

Almost a century ago, G. K. Chesterton wrote that the man who knocks on the brothel door is knocking for God. If he were writing today, he might say that the man who surfs the web for porn is surfing for God. If nothing else, this truth means that sex is a signpost to God.

Maybe you’ve heard the saying that in a marriage the sexual relationship is a barometer for the relationship in general. When a husband and wife enjoy a healthy emotional, relational, and spiritual connection, most of the time good sex follows. In the same way, a man’s sexual appetite is a barometer for what’s going on inside his heart. A man’s sex drive consists of more than testosterone and the buildup of seminal fluid pressing for biological release, more than being visually stimulated and feeling aroused.

Sexual arousal is an accumulation of your experiences, deep needs, and unconscious beliefs. Your heart shares a deep connection to your body parts. The way you are sexually aroused reflects what’s happening deep in your soul. This is why the Apostle Paul wrote, “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact” (1 Cor 6:16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”).

Want to hear more about this idea? You can get a free download of Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle. Just visit www.nelsonfree.com/surfingforgod.

The repentant prayer of a sinner

August 16, 2012 5 comments

Hi Good people,

I have been thinking and there are sometimes during the journey to recovery, our sinful nature leads us into temptation. I would like to share a prayer from the deepest part of my heart.

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Redemption prayer

Oh God, why?

Why do I have to go through this again?

How many times will my eyes lead me to fall?

How come my eyes crave for a peep?

Why do I long to get one more touch?

She is someone else’s daughter, sister, mother,

Why do I objectify women, through weird a fetish?

Why am I overcome by evil?

Why Oh God, do I defile my body through my eyes?

Why is sin so sweet, but only for a moment?

I do not want to do this any more,

I surrender the struggle to you,

I repent of lust of the eyes,

I repent of lust of this damned flesh,

I repent of every hint of sexual immorality I have fallen to,

Wash me with the blood of Jesus,

Purity my heart, mind and body,

You are all I need Jesus,

You are my only true satisfaction,

My saviour, my deliver, my Lord.

Oh God, I pray that you teach me,

Teach me your ways,

Teach how to love you more,

Teach me how to hate sin,

Teach me how to hide the word in my heart,

I desire to give you my all,

I make a covenant with my eyes,

Not to look at any woman lustfully,

So please help me God,

The devil and all his ways were defeated on the cross,

Equip me to battle,

Equip me with God’s full armor (Eph 6)

In Jesus name I pray.

Please see this link on real repentance http://www.joncourson.com/teaching/teachingsplay.asp?teaching=S609

Dairy of a recovering addict – Jesus my strength

August 13, 2012 Leave a comment

On the journey to recovery, we meet every Tuesday at Nairobi West from 6.30pm – 8.30pm for the sexual addicts accountability group.

Most people think that recovering from an addiction is just a snap of the finger away. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but recovering from an addiction, as I have realized, is one of the hardest battles one has to go through. In fact, to make it worse, it is a battle within which can lead anyone in their right senses crazy.

My recovery journey has been a 3 year journey of ups and downs from Jan 2010. One thing that has helped me is that I can run to God in confession and repentance and he can forgive me. I was however taught that repentance is turning 180 degrees from sin, you have to do this after confessing your sin. I thank God for giving me a good accountability relationship with a group of men, where I can be vulnerable. These guys are tough and have held me up when weak. They hold me accountable to everything I set as an action. I pray that you get such a group, a real group of friends, fearless and principled.

So, be encouraged if you are reading this, God’s grace is sufficient for you. He has the final say on your life. Just surrender to Him and ask for anything from Him in prayer. Remember, sexual sin has not power over you at all. What will it take for you to fight? A lost relationship? Lost job? Brokeness? Broken marriage? Act now man!!!

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James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.  You have been given the strength to do all things through Christ. Boast in Christ alone, boast in the cross as your only strength. This is a daily fight, wake up each morning and wear the full armor of God in prayer. If this life has anything to gain at all, I would count it all lost if I can’t hear my savior my strength. This is my solemn prayer for myself as well as you.

“It is better to marry than to burn with passion”—What does this mean?

March 19, 2012 7 comments

Hey readers,

I am glad to finally announce that I got married a few weeks ago and I have found it liberating in the path of sexual addiction recovery. I couldn’t help it but share that just after the wedding was over, God spoke to me in a dream and told me “it is finished”. The many years of burning in sexual desire had ended. And just like any path that ends, a challenging new beginning emerged; A high expectation from my wife for a life of bliss in marriage and love for one another sealed in God’s covenant and consummated in a joining of flesh.

So my thought ran up and down while in the honeymoon, what did God through Paul mean when he wrote 1 Corinthians 7:9. How is the flesh defeated by this great covenant of marriage? I did a bit of research and realized that God has destined me to worship him in marriage just as before with all my physical desires. See what John Piper says in his sermon-ette below.

I should say just one brief word about that infamous sentence in 1 Corinthians 7:9: “If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Remember, this is addressed explicitly to men and women (v. 8). And here is the one thing I want to say about it: When a person seeks to be married, knowing that as a single he or she would “burn with passion,” it doesn’t have to mean that marriage becomes a mere channel for the sex drive. Paul would never mean that in view of Ephesians 5.

Instead when a person marries—let me simply use the man as an example—he takes his sexual desire, and he does the same thing with it that we must all do with all our physical desires if we would make them means of worship—

1) he brings it into conformity to God’s word;

2) he subordinates it to a higher pattern of love and care;

3) he transposes the music of physical pleasure into the music of spiritual worship,

4) he listens for the echoes of God’s goodness in every nerve;

5) he seeks to double his pleasure by making her joy his joy; and

6) he gives thanks to God from the bottom of his heart because he knows and he feels that he never deserved one minute of this pleasure.

Listen to the Full sermon By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

The last pointer #6 is the one that I relate to the most, after all that I had done outside marriage to the point that God had brought me to, I know that I didn’t deserve one minute of the pleasure that us shared in marriage with my wife, but God… In his mercies and grace gave me this gift and I am eternally grateful to the King of Kings and Lord of lords. Bless your name of Lord God almighty.

So I urge you my brothers, do not burn with passion but be quick to pray for God to gift you with a spouse. Then live in eternal worship to your creator for the gift he has given you.

God bless you,

Gathungu, iStopped

Pornography Addiction Cycle

October 7, 2011 4 comments

The “acting out” (engaging in an activity that you consciously didn’t want to engage in) usually starts out with a trigger, which is interpreted by your brain at a subconscious level, and results in a strong emotion, such as excitement. Only then do you get a thought in your conscious brain! Remember it is written  “Do not conform to the standards of the world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” 

Think about it! In our society, most of the people hold a belief that we are primarily motivated by our thinking. This, however, is not entirely true! In fact, as much as 90% of our daily behaviors are motivated by our subconscious brains. Reliance on a higher power, for me Jesus Christ has helped me renew my subconscious mind a lot.

To make things worse, once our body begins a chemical response, it overrides our cognitive ability. Meaning, we still are aware of what is going on, but unable to make an accurate, rational evaluation of our behavior and upcoming consequences.

Immediately after the internal chemical release, our body begins to change (we will talk more about it in upcoming sections). This really is our last line of defense.

The second thought is our last chance to realize what is happening and to take emergency actions to save ourselves (we will talk a lot more about this as well).

If we were not able to break the cycle, chances are we will end up giving in, and engaging in the behavior.

After the “acting out” part is complete, our brain goes off the auto-pilot, and we are back to our normal selves. This is when we are usually able to look at the situation logically, and realize what has happened.

A common reaction to this realization is to feel intense negative emotions, such as guilt and self-hatred. This approach, however, only strengthens our addiction. It keeps us from taking constructive action.

Remember, we do bad things, but we are not bad people!

Did you notice that I skipped one of the items on the list – vulnerable time? Mark Kastleman, founder of Candeo Can, came up with an acronym BLASTed, which stands for: Bored, Burned Out, Lonely, Anxious, Afraid, Angry, Stressed, and Tired.

Another acronym that is commonly used in the 12 steps community is HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.

During the vulnerable times, our conscious brain loses the ability to see things clearly. That is when our subconscious brain is more likely to take over. And we already know where this is going to take us.

You can avoid vulnerable times by beginning to take good care of yourself. Simple things like getting reading the word of God, praying, plenty of sleep, eating properly, drinking enough water, and journaling to de-clutter your brain can go a long way. In the future, we are going to talk a lot more about things that you can do to bring about peace and calmness into your life.

via Pornography Addiction Cycle.

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