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Dreams and Sex

March 26, 2014 1 comment

I great you all in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and savior. Today I blog about sex dreams and the part they play in sexual sin. It was at around 3am, on 2 nights, the 24th and 25th Mar 2014, when I got very vivid sexual dreams, that could be equated to a sexual experience. The exaggerated familiarity of some of the faces in the dreams and the extreme pulled me to do what I resolved not do. The intensity and disgust left within my spirit left a bitter taste in my mouth. The dream was not just sex with a woman, but was borderline weird fetish-like to nightmare. This thing defiling me was definitely not of this world. I remember feeling that this was my sister, though I looked at her and she looked nothing like it. “A familiar spirit”. The setting was on the bed that I grew up on at my parents place. When I wake up I sensed the peril that lied before me. Nothing that I can explain I have seen or experience. Therefore, my conclusion was that the devil simply wanted to defiled my spirit so that I can fall to my previous devices – using malevolent forces because he knew I was strong in the Holy Spirit against sexual temptation in the physical realm. I was so disturbed that I couldn’t go to work the last day.Image

I am encouraged by the word in Deut 28:7 knowing the devil is a defeated foe.

(Deut 28:7 The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.)

It is funny how in this life, battles won elsewhere can easily be lost on other grounds.The past few weeks have been filled with battle and to the glory of God, victory over sexual temptation. An argument may be used that I might exposed myself to sensuality  thus this experience. On the contrary I have been consistently proactively engaging the battle plan;

  • eyes- bouncing my eyes from all lustful looks,
  • mind – using the word as a sword and my faith as a shield
  • heart – fighting for my relationship with God, marriage, child(ren) and future

I did a bit of study on this a while back and I came across a demon called “succubus”. This is a female demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping men. I have no reference of this in the bible, but I know that the bible doesn’t answer all questions we might have. So, upon waking up that day, I prayed through the power of the Holy Spirit and by the shed blood of Jesus on the cross against the spirit of succubus. The demon has no power over me anymore and even if it comes back, I will keep fighting it. James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Many people do not know this, but what happens in the spiritual realm manifests in the physical realm. To put it to context, the dreams that I had were meant to create a feeling of sinful sexual desire, guilt and self condemnation; so that I resolve to get satisfaction from anything other than my wife.  Some men won’t really see the sense in this argument, but the motive of this is to drive you to sexual immorality. The spirit realm work very differently from the physical one.

I give glory to God because I can reach out to Him, through his Son Jesus in prayer and to a group of prayer warriors at that time. In summary;

  1. I prayed against spirit of succubus and cancelled every evil effect of the dreams in Jesus name,
  2. I sent a distress call to my G7 group, a sexual accountability group for prayer
  3. I talked to my wife who also prayed with me about it
  4. My defenses went on an all time high. I was encouraging myself with scripture constantly, just like Jesus fought temptation against the devil with scripture.

If you are or have gone through this, the solution is simple,

1. Surrender to God , know the truth

  •  1 John 1:6  If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth (about Jesus).
  • 2 Thessalonians 2:10  and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth (about Jesus) and so be saved.
  • 2 Thessalonians 2:13  But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth.

2. Against the devil play offense, but against sexual sin play defense, 

  • “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” 1 Cor 6:18
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Between Us Guys : The Truth About Pornography [video]

April 1, 2013 2 comments

Amazing blog post. Please check it out.

Combat with porn is probably (still) the biggest issue Christian men wrestle with that no one talks about. Serious discussions about sexuality are embarrassing and uncomfortable. Too many churches are silent. And many are not proactive regarding faith-based sex education.

Lessons like this one can break the ice and be used to introduce a more comprehensive curriculum that is desperately needed in many Christian homes and churches. We can’t afford to become even more irrelevant and unconvincing in today’s rapidly changing culture.

Ref: Between Us Guys (Part 3): The Truth About Pornography .

Source: Darrell Martin and SameSexAttractions.wordpress.com

R-Rated

October 8, 2012 4 comments

Re-blog: R-Rated (click here) to go to Mavuno blog

Sex is great. I like it. I suspect that when God created it he meant it for good.

However it also turns out that in this day, sex is a great way to market and draw attention to things.  Last week we heard about the facebook appeal against tribalism. It read something like this –

SEX!! …now that I have gotten your attention, Tribalism is not good – pray for Kenya.

If sex is good, and it sells then why should we be concerned about what we see in our world? Is there a problem with what we are seeing?

Today we begin a series – Sex Files, living in an R-rated world. This month we take an honest look at ourselves, and our world, against the mirror of God’s Word. We will also pick out some practical things to help us thrive in the area of our sexuality.

If sex is good, and it sells then why should we be concerned about what we see in our world?

Like I said – It is used to sell – commodities, jobs, movies. Breakfast shows.

This seems to have become normal. Our world is R Rated. You need it – sex will get it for you. Sex seems to have become a currency – poverty eradication method [Facebook group – campus divas for rich men]. It is a medium of exchange in our world.

Sex is the answer. What is your question?

What then is the problem? Our normal has changed! That seems to be the problem.

Picture with me this scenario

–       Say I am doing something normal, in my room watching a movie. The people start kissing and undressing. Then my mum walks in with my 7 year old Nephew. Why is it that there is an awkwardness? It was supposed to be normal – but it really isn’t. Something inside of us resists and is pricked by what we call normal.

Let me explain.

–       People watch porn – soft or hard. It is normal. Why don’t they put porn watching as a hobby in their resume?

–       Why do people tend to watch porn on their own not with visitors ?

–       Why don’t people tell my aunties and uncles they are having sex with their boyfriend?

–       How come people can discuss sex with my boys but not with my dad?

–       Why do people change the channel when some people enter your car?

–       Why do people feel the need to change their toilet reading material when the pastor or life group is in the house?

–       Why was 80′s TV show Tushauriane banned and we wonder what the issue is? If Tushauriane was today what time would it be shown?

–       Why do we keep affairs quiet? It is not called clandestine for nothing. Why doesn’t it make it into our facebook status.

–       Guys like to oogle at chicks with few clothes, but why do you have an issue if it is your sister or your daughter – dancing in nothings.

Either many of us have double standards or there is something wrong with our normal and somehow we know it. Deep inside us we know it.

We are fish in dirty water and we know it. Such is the world we live in. Why? How did we end up here. I would like us to take a look at scripture our reading wil be from Genesis 3.

Scripture: Gen 3

Adam and Eve, in response to their interaction with the serpent disobeyed God and ate the fruit. God found out, for obvious reasons it was hard to hide. He was very upset and came back to have a conversation with them.  This is a conversation that affected their lives and the entire world we life it.

Verse – 17-24

To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you;     through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce horns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”

Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living. The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken.

A Broken World:

The result of our disobedience to God is that everything in our world was affected negatively. The brokenness we experience in all aspects of our world is a consequence of Adam and Eve’s rebellion against God. They were banished out of a perfect world into a world full of consequences of sin.

The consequence is

Pain – in our world we will always experience pain and opposition in what we do. V 17 Cursed is the ground, through painful toil you will eat from it.

Resistance – v.18 the world we live in will resist us and make it difficult for us in what we do. Our world v.18 will produce thorns and thistles. Thorns and thistles are a nag [according to the apostle Paul]. They resist, choke and stifle good things [Jesus used them as an example of the resistance to God’s Word].

Death – our physical lives were cut short, and continue to be cut short because of this sin. We see decay and atrophy in our world. Things generally don’t get better they get worse [2nd law of thermodynamics]. If you leave things they disintegrate.

A Broken Sexuality

This brokenness which is a consequence of our sin can be seen in our sexuality as well. This is why our world is R-rated. This is why we see what I had said before –

–       People watch porn – soft or hard. It is normal. Why don’t they put porn watching as a hobby in their resume?

–       Why do people tend to watch porn on their own not with visitors ?

–       Why don’t people tell my aunties and uncles they are having sex with their boyfriend?

–       How come people can discuss sex with my boys but not with my dad?

–       Why do people change the channel when some people enter your car?

–       Why do people feel the need to change their toilet reading material when the pastor or life group is in the house?

There is a brokenness that we somehow sense but we seem to live in. There are some consequences to this brokenness. This brokenness seems to have been spoken about in Adam’s encounter with God.

Pain – sex and our sexuality has been the cause of much emotional and relational pain – when trust is broken and relationships are fractured. Sometimes physical pain when sex is forced on us through rape.

Resistance – we find that keeping to the straight and narrow often seems to be going against the grain. It is so hard not to go with the flow and do what everyone else is doing or say what everyone else is saying.

Death – things are not getting better, they seem to get worse. Our sexuality seems to be decaying. People who enter into illicit sexual encounters are more likely to do it again, and again. When you use a sexual swear word once it is much easier to do it again. When you get into a sexually driven conversation you are likely to do it again.

Illustration: An illustration was given about how to kill a frog. Put it in a pot and warm the water slowly. It begins to enjoy the heat. However by the time it realizes that it is cooking it is too late to be able to jump out.

The heat is on in our pot – we are in a state of decay and we seem to be enjoying it at the moment. There is something wrong with our normal and we are having too much fun to notice it. The end result will be death – emotional, relational, probably physical but most scary is – spiritual death.

A Hopeful Conversation

If this is the case, is there any hope for us to be able to thrive in our sexuality in an R-Rated world. The answer is yes. God does not intend for you to enter into spiritual death because of something that he created for good to glorify himself. Sex and sexuality is not meant to be a hindrance to life but an opportunity to glorify God through a thriving and not decaying life.

This is why God sent His Son Jesus into the world for us to overcome the decay and enjoy the fullness of life.

Jesus had many conversations – and in one of these he talked about this full life. In John 10:10 speaking to his disciples and to us he said

The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they [you] may have life, and have it to the full.

The serpent, Satan brought – pain, resistance and death. He spoke with Eve and sin entered. He came to destroy and kill what God had created for us.

Jesus on the other hand came so that we can have full, abundant, thriving life – even in our sexuality.

How do we access this full abundant life?

As I look at scripture there are a number of things I see we can do. We can choose to do the right things, we can made deliberate decisions to cleanse our minds from those things which are wrong, we can build the right company around us to keep us accountable.

I would like to focus on one practical area we can apply this week to help us get back to the right normal. I want to take a cue from the passages I have referred to today

You see –

o      God entered into a conversation to create men and women

o      While in the Garden God conversed with Adam and his wife and built relationship

o      The serpent is the one who came into a conversation which resulted in disobedience

o      The consequences came out of the conversation between Adam, Even and a heartbroken God. But it didn’t end there –

o      Our hope has come from Jesus who, through a conversation with us, promised a full life of abundance in every area of our lives including our sexuality

o      I think that we too can use our conversations to redirect us into God’s standard and values for our sexuality

Take out:

Our world is R-Rated. Could it be that you can change your part of your world with the conversations you enter into? Could it be that your words can begin to affect your world and the world of those around you and return us back to God’s normal? Could we end the awkward moments and the double standards we live in with what we do with conversations around us

What if

–       you made a decision not to be part of lewd conversations when you are with your friends?

–       You chose not to flirt with ladies [or men] in the office?

–       You stopped retweeting those funny but dishonorable things, exit wrong conversations?

–       You resisted all temptations to put on and listen to radio shows that you couldn’t listen with your mother in the same car?

–       You stepped out of conversations with friends that you knew are going south?

–       You as a married person – opted to reserve all compliments that have to do with sexuality only for your spouse – and not your PA, officemate, friend? You chose to affirm your spouses sexuality even though it has been a few years, several babies and one pot belly later? You as a married person chose to use your words to build the sexual life inside your family and not that of others?

–       You as a single person – chose not to allow yourself to be drawn into conversations that arouse your sexual desires yet you know that they will not find fulfillment in a spouse? You chose not to subscribe to text messaging services that send sexual messages to you? You chose not to play around and flirt with friends and even online entities who make you feel good and sexual yet are not the right people for you to be with?

–       You chose to say things about our sexuality that are right and honorable before both the older and younger generation?

Affected by a person living in sin, in addiction, in sexual sin

July 17, 2012 9 comments

Hey, you, yeah you, please comment at the end, I need feedback on this…

Some of the most common issues I have had to deal with in the past are rather extra-ordinary. I have heard these, not from the person struggling, but from the people who they go to. All together, I thank God for exposing to me the extent of hurt that sin, more specifically sexual sin causes to those around us. For example;Image

  • a wife/girlfriend of an man who confesses sexual sin,
  • a friend or a girlfriend of a guy/girl who turns up to be a homosexual,
  • a guy who finds out that the wife/girlfriend is a addicted to sex.
  • a parent who identified a child with a weird sexual habit e.g. touching another girls/boys parts or masturbating
  • a parent/guardian/teacher who catches a child practicing voyeurism (fetish of seeing people naked)
  • a spouse to a partner who is confess/ caught committing adultery/fornication

How can someone deal with such? In the bible the book of John 8:1-10, Jesus was presented with such an individual; pharisees who caught an adulterous woman in the act. They tried to trick him to confess that she deserves punishment according to the Mosaic law in the old testament. However, Jesus, our Lord and saviour who gave us grace, told them that if any of them has never sinned let him/her stone the lady.  To our shock, most of them left one by one with the oldest going first.

What a powerful way of demonstrating that in God’s eyes all of us are sinners. It doesn’t matter whether it is a lie, a sexual lustful thought or sexual sin (all are sins), God’s love and grace, as shown to the adulterous woman, is enough to forgive us. As human beings, we magnify some sins above others based on our carnal minds forgetting that God’s standard of holiness is apart from us and can only be attained through Jesus Christ’ righteousness at the cross. God’s hates the sin not the sinner, he loves you and wants you to repent (confess and turn away from sin).

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness

Image

From my short experience in dealing with sexual sinners, I have learnt several things;

  1. Never condemn the person who sins. Separate the person from the sin and walk with that person to the realization of who he/she is in Christ.
  2. Come down to that individuals level and understand what lead to them acting the way they did. May be they were exposed to the behavior by someone else and didn’t know any better when it happened
  3. Learn what God standard is and leave the example, by what you watch, listen to, speak, read, stand for. Impart that same standard through the word to the person gently.
  4. Help the person come up with an action plan by themselves and help them get accountability. If you can walk with the person through it. Ownership of accountability is on both partners, not one.
  5. Pray for the person and yourself for wisdom.

I praise God that someone, Pastor Chris Gatihi, took time to walk with me and impart the word of God, God’s standard in my heart where I have hidden it to stay pure.

Psalms 119:9-11

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
    do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart
    that I might not sin against you.

God’s Chisel – You are God’s workmanship

July 12, 2012 Leave a comment

Sometimes we feel pain when God chisels away the bad things in our lives, especially our character defects!

When God chisels the dead weight out of our lives it can be quite painful. In this new high quality, remastered version of their most requested skit, Tommy and Eddie give a very creative look at a typical believer having to go through the process of discipline.

The writer of Ephesians says “For we are God’s workmanship” (Eph. 2:10). Elsewhere we’re described as a “poem.” God views us as being his original masterpiece.

 

Skit Guys website with remastered video:
http://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel

Reblogged from: http://castimonia.org/2012/07/01/castimonia-saturday-morning-meeting-topic-6302012-video-gods-chisel/

“It is better to marry than to burn with passion”—What does this mean?

March 19, 2012 7 comments

Hey readers,

I am glad to finally announce that I got married a few weeks ago and I have found it liberating in the path of sexual addiction recovery. I couldn’t help it but share that just after the wedding was over, God spoke to me in a dream and told me “it is finished”. The many years of burning in sexual desire had ended. And just like any path that ends, a challenging new beginning emerged; A high expectation from my wife for a life of bliss in marriage and love for one another sealed in God’s covenant and consummated in a joining of flesh.

So my thought ran up and down while in the honeymoon, what did God through Paul mean when he wrote 1 Corinthians 7:9. How is the flesh defeated by this great covenant of marriage? I did a bit of research and realized that God has destined me to worship him in marriage just as before with all my physical desires. See what John Piper says in his sermon-ette below.

I should say just one brief word about that infamous sentence in 1 Corinthians 7:9: “If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Remember, this is addressed explicitly to men and women (v. 8). And here is the one thing I want to say about it: When a person seeks to be married, knowing that as a single he or she would “burn with passion,” it doesn’t have to mean that marriage becomes a mere channel for the sex drive. Paul would never mean that in view of Ephesians 5.

Instead when a person marries—let me simply use the man as an example—he takes his sexual desire, and he does the same thing with it that we must all do with all our physical desires if we would make them means of worship—

1) he brings it into conformity to God’s word;

2) he subordinates it to a higher pattern of love and care;

3) he transposes the music of physical pleasure into the music of spiritual worship,

4) he listens for the echoes of God’s goodness in every nerve;

5) he seeks to double his pleasure by making her joy his joy; and

6) he gives thanks to God from the bottom of his heart because he knows and he feels that he never deserved one minute of this pleasure.

Listen to the Full sermon By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

The last pointer #6 is the one that I relate to the most, after all that I had done outside marriage to the point that God had brought me to, I know that I didn’t deserve one minute of the pleasure that us shared in marriage with my wife, but God… In his mercies and grace gave me this gift and I am eternally grateful to the King of Kings and Lord of lords. Bless your name of Lord God almighty.

So I urge you my brothers, do not burn with passion but be quick to pray for God to gift you with a spouse. Then live in eternal worship to your creator for the gift he has given you.

God bless you,

Gathungu, iStopped

Man up! You got to fight sin

January 3, 2012 1 comment

To all you who are struggling or who know someone struggling with sin, with sexual temptations, with lust, here is a challenge from one of the hit songs I listened to from the 116 clique. Leave a comment

See some of you all have bought the lie
That sex is what makes you a man
But that’s not what makes you a man
Anybody can go lay with a woman
What makes you a man is being defined
By who you say you are in Christ
If you have Christ you have all that you need
Everything you need is bound up in the resurrected Saviour

Sex is a gift from God but we’ve taken it and made it idolatry
We’ve taken it and put it in the place of God
And we worship it and so it comes out in all sorts of profane ways
And so we blame the women for what they’re wearing
And we blame the media for what they’re producing
But we never blame ourselves
For how we’ve twisted God’s gift to glorify us

Manning up is not just managing your sexual temptations
it’s not just managing your sin that’s not what it means to be a man
because you can try harder

And you can do better
and you can hang on longer

That’s not manning up
Manning up is our ability to lay down all of our effort
and all of our trying

And all of our strength

And say I trust in Jesus
I trust in his perfection

I trust in his power

I trust in his resurrection
because he’s the only one that can get me through this
and he’s the only one that can make me free

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