Real Men Of the City in the Sun

Heavy lurden

Like a bag of sand on my shoulders, I have struggled my whole life with this burden. From an innocent introduction to sexual activity by a family friend (more like preditor) at a tender age of 3, I have fought the thoughts for over 30years now. Now living in London away from my parents, friends and the life I built in Kenya, I reminise the hope that God brought to my life.

I give God all glory that I have never cracked and become a lunatic. A Throwback moment :- The exposure to sex when a toddler meant that I thought sex was a game. Oh! how I was wrong! I remember when I was first caught by my teacher at around 5years of age, trying to fondle a classmate! I know, crazy, scary! Wow, the beating I got… you know, the kind that is so severe, a$$whooping that sends you to hell and back. You know, the kind that, your held facedown below the sink, receiving lightning spike-like beatings that vapourise your rear from the wrath of an angry parent. I quickly learnt that sex is a taboo, never to be thought or spoken about under my parents’ roof.

In comes my male man cave.. which I went into for many years to hide my burden. It was quickly triggered and escalated to relentless watching of sensual movies and videos, to soft prn, to hardcore VHS tapes masquerading as Tom & Jerry films, to doors of filth on the internet I regret ever opening and eventually prostitution. Chronicles of my life are filled with intense lonely battles from 14 year until I got the courage to speak up and find help when I turned 26.

Hope in the midst of darkness

In 2009, I found a band of brothers, 7 highly valued brothers, during my time in Mavuno church, in the same boat as I was, willing to each other to conquer this beast. Tough love, is exactly what I got and what we all needed and I found it through the iStopped group dubbed “G7”. In 2012 it simple became a group of born-again men, who I have walked with for the last 5 years through my recovery journey.  I learnt that accountability starts with me. If you are patient to walk with someone for a couple of months, you will see the difference.

We initially met every week on a Tuesday night for a year, and went through a book recommended by the Man @PastorSimonMbevi, “Every man’s battle”. It was liberating, a true hidden treasure worth experiencing; We now meet every first Friday of the month now in South C/ N.West from 6.30am – 9.30am, to hold each other accountable and men have really been transformed. I have seen men moving from additive behaviour that used to lead them to red-light streets, cheating, now into rich, healthy, marriages free of sexual bondage. Wives and spouses, including mine played a great role in supporting the men, holding them accountable at home and joinly praying that this wolf does not affect their relationships.

These sessions works, you have to be honest with yourself and the men and mark up courage to confront your problem, surrendering them all to God. It is written “Confess your sins one unto another so that you may be healed”. Jesus showed me his love throught the men, while maintaining a gentleman’s pact of highest level of confidentiality of matters discussed every week.

Art of war

The battle plan we have been using is simple. It is based on the book “Every man’s battle” i.e. you have to allow God to fight through your;

1. Eyes ; (Job 31:1 – I make a covenant with my eyes not to look at any woman lustfully);
2. Mind; (2 Corinthians 10:5 – Hold all thoughts captive under the obedience of Christ Jesus, 1 Corinthians10:13 – No temptation is unique to man, others have gone through it and God gives you a way out. Many have overcome e.g. Joseph in Egypt, samaritan woman)
3. Heart; (Psalms 119:9 How can a young man keep his ways pure? by hiding the word of God in his heart.) Dedicate your life to a relationship with God consistently in surrender)

If your eyes are your perimeter fence and your mind is the walls of the house, then your mind is like the panga that you put under your bed. Gen 39:9 ‘How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?’  

Hats off to you all men of G7.

OUR OBJECTIVE :- You should not fight this vice alone. If you have to, only one strategy is effective 1 Cor 6:18 says ‘Flee from all forms of sexual immorality!’ We beat the devil through offense, but when it comes to sexual temptation, we must play defense!

Join us if you need help! Leave a comment or request to join the Facebook page for more details https://www.facebook.com/groups/173596679462929/?ref=group_header

Blog.Mavuno

Today we want to want to focus on the men and the title of my message is ‘Real Husbands Of Nairobi’. We want to talk about real men. This sermon is not just for the men, but also for the women who love them, live with them or simply just want to understand them! The whole region was thrown in shock in July 2013 when two men from Kisauni agreed to sign a contract to marry the smae woman when they both realized they were having an affair with her. The agreement stated when each would take their shift in her house, how they would respect one another, and how if she gave birth they would both raise the child as their own. One of the men had already paid bride price for the woman but the other one agreed that he would also pay his bride price when ready…

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