Setting boundaries is important in sexual purity

February 27, 2013 3 comments

mental muscle1What I have learned from my iStopped journey is you have to build BOUNDARIES from this. And not gray area boundaries, defined boundaries that you can be held accountable to. Titus 2:11-12 is a word that has helped me a lot to create the boundaries and by God’s grace be able to keep the boundaries.

This is what is says, 11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age”

I pray that is you are reading this God will help you identify triggers to why you fall to sexual sin and create healthy boundaries for the glory of the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Here is an article I found online to help you through this.

A trigger is something that gets your attention, pushes a button, and causes you to want to sinfully act out.


For help with porn, lust, and masturbation you can go to

Click here to listen to or download the show

Q:  What things excite you and cause you to want to act out?
Q:  What things have enticed you right before you have acted out?
Q:  Any fetishes or objects that turn you on?
Q:  Certain images or porn that you have acted out regularly with?
Q:  TV or Movies cause you more problems?
Q:  Types of clothing or ways people dress are triggery for you?
Q:  Types of conversations are triggery for you?


Triggers are historical.

Triggers will happen regardless.

But you’re going to have to be serious about retraining your reaction to these triggers.  You have to start running away, clinging to Christ, praying, talking to someone else…something.  You have to build a habit of responding in a healthy way to triggers.

I trust this will help you develop your boundaries.

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Sex + Love = Unsatisfying Love Life Leading to Porn

February 26, 2013 Leave a comment

Reblogged from:Sex Love = Unsatisfying Love Life Leading to Porn.

We are mistaken if we think sex equals love. Yes, it is an expression of love within a marriage founded on God. But it is not love. And any kind of sex outside of a marriage founded on God is not an expression of love, but merely a physical act.

But in order for a marriage to be founded on God, both the husband and the wife must be each individually in love with God more than each other. We are only truly happy when we put God first above all else, whether we are married or single.

Many seem to think that sex equals love. But what happens when we have this idea in our head? If we think sex equals love, then what happens when our sex life is unsatisfying? Have you ever had sex with your wife, then wanted to look at porn because it “just wasn’t good enough?” If this is how we feel, then something is wrong.

God does not intend that we should look at porn because the last time we had sex wasn’t earth shattering. Understand, my friends, that not every time will be better than the last.

We need to learn to put God first in everything. Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” When we get this right, we will begin to understand what marriage, sex, and most importantly, what love is all about.


Categories: Pornography

How to Communicate Your Sexual Needs to Your Spouse

February 25, 2013 Leave a comment

Reblogged from: How to Communicate Your Sexual Needs to Your Spouse.

I’ve noticed that as I get older my sex drive is tremendously increasing.  However, as my husband gets older his sex drive is quickly decreasing.  Add porn addiction to this combination and it doesn’t make for a very active sex life.

As a result of this, I’ve developed a very proactive approach to getting my needs met when my husband is not. I express my needs to my husband both physically and vocally.  Oftentimes, my husband isn’t moved by words so if I tell him what I want or what I need, it takes him hearing it multiple times to process the information and take action.

A simple conversation can get you exactly what you need if you clearly communicate those needs. I always try to make sure the timing is right before I make my needs known. Why waste your time speaking words that fall on deaf ears? During my conversation with my husband, I must make sure that I do not sound accusatory or cause any offenseI simply want him to know that I have a desire or need that needs to be met by him and only him.  No other person can fulfill those desires and needs.

When my husband hears me and then fulfills my needs there is no greater experience. I embrace the accomplishment at that moment knowing that soon thereafter, I may have to have the same conversation. I’m good with that because I know that growth and progress are taking place.

It is liberating to know that I dictate whether or not my needs are met. If they are not being met, then maybe I’m not sharing with my husband the way I should. What would it profit for me to not have those needed conversations, hold it inside and allow it to fester? NOTHING!!! I do not feeling empty. I want to be fulfilled in every way. I deserve it.

If you are not proactively getting your needs met, I would challenge you to ask yourself why that may be the case for you. What are you waiting on? Who are you waiting on? You are the only person who can fulfill your desires and needs.

I’ve always heard that conversation rules the nation. Speak up! Make your request known. Be open and honest and empowered. Be considerate and conscious of timing. Be willing to be vulnerable…and be prepared to receive fulfillment

2013: A new year, a new you.

January 8, 2013 1 comment

2013: A new year, a new you..

An small excerpt of what femalepornaddict blogged …

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” Colossians 3:5-10

…. to read more please click here.

Take the sex addiction test

January 7, 2013 2 comments

From >
Please indicate gender:
Male or Female

Indicate Orientation:
Heterosexual or Bi-sexual or Homosexual

To complete the test, answer each question by placing answering yes/no for each question

1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
2. Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior?
3. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
4. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal?
5. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior?
6. Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you and your family?
7. Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like?
8. Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?
9. Are any of your sexual activities against the law?
10. Have you made efforts to quit a type of sexual activity and failed?
11. Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
12. Have you attempted to stop some parts of your sexual activity?
13. Have you felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
14. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
15. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire?
16. Have important parts of your life (such as job, family, friends, leisure activities) been neglected because you were spending too much time on sex?
17. Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?
18. Is sex almost all you think about?
19. Has sex (or romantic fantasies) been a way for you to escape your problems?
20. Has sex become the most important thing in your life?
21. Are you in crisis over sexual matters?
22. The internet has created sexual problems for me.
23. I spend too much time online for sexual purposes.
24. I have purchased services online for erotic purposes (sites for dating, pornography, fantasy and friend finder).
25. I have used the internet to make romantic or erotic connections with people online.
26. People in my life have been upset about my sexual activities online.
27. I have attempted to stop my online sexual behaviors.
28. I have subscribed to or regularly purchased or rented sexually explicit materials (magazines, videos, books or online pornography).
29. I have been sexual with minors.
30. I have spent considerable time and money on strip clubs, adult bookstores and movie houses.
31. I have engaged prostitutes and escorts to satisfy my sexual needs.
32. I have spent considerable time surfing pornography online.
33. I have used magazines, videos or online pornography even when there was considerable risk of being caught by family members who would be upset by my behavior.
34. I have regularly purchased romantic novels or sexually explicit magazines.
35. I have stayed in romantic relationships after they became emotionally or physically abusive.
36. I have traded sex for money or gifts.
37. I have maintained multiple romantic or sexual relationships at the same time.
38. After sexually acting out, I sometimes refrain from all sex for a significant period.
39. I have regularly engaged in sadomasochistic behavior.
40. I visit sexual bath-houses, sex clubs or video/bookstores as part of my regular sexual activity.
41. I have engaged in unsafe or “risky” sex even though I knew it could cause me harm.
42. I have cruised public restrooms, rest areas or parks looking for sex with strangers.
43. I believe casual or anonymous sex has kept me from having more long-term intimate relationships.
44. My sexual behavior has put me at risk for arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency.
45. I have been paid for sex.

Categories: Pornography

What do you see in this picture?

November 26, 2012 Leave a comment

[REBLOG from] Here’s another photo I took on my “bored walk”.  I’ve captured an essence of decay.  There are dead leaves, dead stems, a cigarette butt, dry dirt, dead plants, and there in the midst of it stands a perfect flower.  The color attracts your attention almost completely.  It doesn’t seem to fit very well.  It’s a “sight for sore eyes” in an otherwise “eyesore” of a backdrop.

It makes me think of God.

A lot of people I have talked to in the past have thought that God was not so good.  They blame Him for the holocaust, genocide, disease, for not seeing their suffering, for not answering their prayers the way they want Him to, for the threat of “hell”, etc.  But, I’ve found that in coming to understand God more fully that these critiques are based on misunderstandings.  Even in this list of terrible things can be found goodness if one is willing to take the moment to understand God’s explanation of these things.  At least that’s what I’ve found.  So, I can say with no reservation that God is good.  And He’s been good to me.  That is not to say I’ve not experienced suffering, questions, and even doubt at times.

So, what makes God so good?  Well, he is giving life right now to a world that doesn’t deserve it for one thing.  Not only that but He is spending all His energy trying to reveal His goodness to us so that we will see it.  But, how often all we see is the dismal backdrop–the death, the cigarette butts, etc.  I’ve spent a lot of time focusing my eyes on that background.  The decay seems to spill out of the canvas into the heart.  So, I’ve been choosing to try to focus on the one beautiful thing in the picture and I’m enjoying it.  Plus, it’s taking my mind off of porn in the process.  God seems to be good like that!

A great porn experiment – Damn this thing messes people up

November 14, 2012 Leave a comment

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