Real Men Of the City in the Sun
Heavy lurden
Like a bag of sand on my shoulders, I have struggled my whole life with this burden. From an innocent introduction to sexual activity by a family friend (more like preditor) at a tender age of 3, I have fought the thoughts for over 30years now. Now living in London away from my parents, friends and the life I built in Kenya, I reminise the hope that God brought to my life.
I give God all glory that I have never cracked and become a lunatic. A Throwback moment :- The exposure to sex when a toddler meant that I thought sex was a game. Oh! how I was wrong! I remember when I was first caught by my teacher at around 5years of age, trying to fondle a classmate! I know, crazy, scary! Wow, the beating I got… you know, the kind that is so severe, a$$whooping that sends you to hell and back. You know, the kind that, your held facedown below the sink, receiving lightning spike-like beatings that vapourise your rear from the wrath of an angry parent. I quickly learnt that sex is a taboo, never to be thought or spoken about under my parents’ roof.
In comes my male man cave.. which I went into for many years to hide my burden. It was quickly triggered and escalated to relentless watching of sensual movies and videos, to soft prn, to hardcore VHS tapes masquerading as Tom & Jerry films, to doors of filth on the internet I regret ever opening and eventually prostitution. Chronicles of my life are filled with intense lonely battles from 14 year until I got the courage to speak up and find help when I turned 26.
Hope in the midst of darkness
In 2009, I found a band of brothers, 7 highly valued brothers, during my time in Mavuno church, in the same boat as I was, willing to each other to conquer this beast. Tough love, is exactly what I got and what we all needed and I found it through the iStopped group dubbed “G7”. In 2012 it simple became a group of born-again men, who I have walked with for the last 5 years through my recovery journey. I learnt that accountability starts with me. If you are patient to walk with someone for a couple of months, you will see the difference.
We initially met every week on a Tuesday night for a year, and went through a book recommended by the Man @PastorSimonMbevi, “Every man’s battle”. It was liberating, a true hidden treasure worth experiencing; We now meet every first Friday of the month now in South C/ N.West from 6.30am – 9.30am, to hold each other accountable and men have really been transformed. I have seen men moving from additive behaviour that used to lead them to red-light streets, cheating, now into rich, healthy, marriages free of sexual bondage. Wives and spouses, including mine played a great role in supporting the men, holding them accountable at home and joinly praying that this wolf does not affect their relationships.
These sessions works, you have to be honest with yourself and the men and mark up courage to confront your problem, surrendering them all to God. It is written “Confess your sins one unto another so that you may be healed”. Jesus showed me his love throught the men, while maintaining a gentleman’s pact of highest level of confidentiality of matters discussed every week.
Art of war
The battle plan we have been using is simple. It is based on the book “Every man’s battle” i.e. you have to allow God to fight through your;
- Eyes ; (Job 31:1 – I make a covenant with my eyes not to look at any woman lustfully);
- Mind; (2 Corinthians 10:5 – Hold all thoughts captive under the obedience of Christ Jesus, 1 Corinthians10:13 – No temptation is unique to man, others have gone through it and God gives you a way out. Many have overcome e.g. Joseph in Egypt, samaritan woman)
- Heart; (Psalms 119:9 How can a young man keep his ways pure? by hiding the word of God in his heart.) Dedicate your life to a relationship with God consistently in surrender)
If your eyes are your perimeter fence and your mind is the walls of the house, then your mind is like the panga that you put under your bed. Gen 39:9 ‘How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?’
Hats off to you all men of G7.
OUR OBJECTIVE :- You should not fight this vice alone. If you have to, only one strategy is effective 1 Cor 6:18 says ‘Flee from all forms of sexual immorality!’ We beat the devil through offense, but when it comes to sexual temptation, we must play defense!
Join us if you need help! Leave a comment or request to join the Facebook page for more details https://www.facebook.com/groups/173596679462929/?ref=group_header
Today we want to want to focus on the men and the title of my message is ‘Real Husbands Of Nairobi’. We want to talk about real men. This sermon is not just for the men, but also for the women who love them, live with them or simply just want to understand them! The whole region was thrown in shock in July 2013 when two men from Kisauni agreed to sign a contract to marry the smae woman when they both realized they were having an affair with her. The agreement stated when each would take their shift in her house, how they would respect one another, and how if she gave birth they would both raise the child as their own. One of the men had already paid bride price for the woman but the other one agreed that he would also pay his bride price when ready…
View original post 3,587 more words
Truth about the enticing stare “kula kwa macho”
Many a times, when walking on the streets of Nairobi city, I have seen men “appreciating the beauty” of God’s creation on women. It is unfortunate how extreme some guys (villagers) take this appreciation to the point they look like idiots, ‘drooling dummies’ as they gaze at badonkadonk or cleavage on a cute chikita causing accidents, at times conflicts with those they accompany. 😂😂
I have seen villagers turn midway on the streets to follow a voluptuous woman, I have seen guys tripping on pavements, slamming into posts, bumping into other people, impulse buying just to steal a glance …and its so weird how ‘normal’ this behaviour is in Nairobi, in London, in Dusseldorf. This sparks a ginormous, intense debate in the office with a few colleagues just to test how many people would think it was normal or strange.
Being a secular environment, the office I work in is the gospel’s bountiful harvest field. Why do I say this? More than 90% of the men and women I spoke with about this think that it is normal for a man to steal a lustful stare towards a woman. In fact one villager challenged me, he ended up saying “If you don’t “Kula kwa macho” that stare, don’t expect satisfaction from your chic/wife, … you will have to find a willing clande to satisfy you for the moment”. 😱😱
This did not shock me because there is even worse out there. What shocks me is the oblivion that most Christians live in to these matters. I went to church the other day and my pastor shared an interesting statistic that more than 80% of people in the city do not attend church, but the country has over 70% of its population registered to be christian during the last census. Is it just a tag? A meaningless label for demographic sake?
The bible says “Even if you look at a woman lustfully, you will have committed adultry”, sin! Yarn for righteousness people, yarn for the truth through Jesus Christ, yarn for Heaven and Holiness. May God help us all, Amen.
Why I am not an atheist
Hi guys,
I great you in Jesus name. I hope you have been well. Please take some time to listen to Dr. Ravi Zacharias who is a christian apologetic. His faith is just so amazing as he communicates it through logic to university students. Amazing… he has read more than 7000 books… crazy? I know!! I haven’t read 10 books in my lifetime.
Watch this.
Dreams and Sex
I great you all in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and savior. Today I blog about sex dreams and the part they play in sexual sin. It was at around 3am, on 2 nights, the 24th and 25th Mar 2014, when I got very vivid sexual dreams, that could be equated to a sexual experience. The exaggerated familiarity of some of the faces in the dreams and the extreme pulled me to do what I resolved not do. The intensity and disgust left within my spirit left a bitter taste in my mouth. The dream was not just sex with a woman, but was borderline weird fetish-like to nightmare. This thing defiling me was definitely not of this world. I remember feeling that this was my sister, though I looked at her and she looked nothing like it. “A familiar spirit”. The setting was on the bed that I grew up on at my parents place. When I wake up I sensed the peril that lied before me. Nothing that I can explain I have seen or experience. Therefore, my conclusion was that the devil simply wanted to defiled my spirit so that I can fall to my previous devices – using malevolent forces because he knew I was strong in the Holy Spirit against sexual temptation in the physical realm. I was so disturbed that I couldn’t go to work the last day.
I am encouraged by the word in Deut 28:7 knowing the devil is a defeated foe.
(Deut 28:7 The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.)
It is funny how in this life, battles won elsewhere can easily be lost on other grounds.The past few weeks have been filled with battle and to the glory of God, victory over sexual temptation. An argument may be used that I might exposed myself to sensuality thus this experience. On the contrary I have been consistently proactively engaging the battle plan;
- eyes- bouncing my eyes from all lustful looks,
- mind – using the word as a sword and my faith as a shield
- heart – fighting for my relationship with God, marriage, child(ren) and future
I did a bit of study on this a while back and I came across a demon called “succubus”. This is a female demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping men. I have no reference of this in the bible, but I know that the bible doesn’t answer all questions we might have. So, upon waking up that day, I prayed through the power of the Holy Spirit and by the shed blood of Jesus on the cross against the spirit of succubus. The demon has no power over me anymore and even if it comes back, I will keep fighting it. James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Many people do not know this, but what happens in the spiritual realm manifests in the physical realm. To put it to context, the dreams that I had were meant to create a feeling of sinful sexual desire, guilt and self condemnation; so that I resolve to get satisfaction from anything other than my wife. Some men won’t really see the sense in this argument, but the motive of this is to drive you to sexual immorality. The spirit realm work very differently from the physical one.
I give glory to God because I can reach out to Him, through his Son Jesus in prayer and to a group of prayer warriors at that time. In summary;
- I prayed against spirit of succubus and cancelled every evil effect of the dreams in Jesus name,
- I sent a distress call to my G7 group, a sexual accountability group for prayer
- I talked to my wife who also prayed with me about it
- My defenses went on an all time high. I was encouraging myself with scripture constantly, just like Jesus fought temptation against the devil with scripture.
If you are or have gone through this, the solution is simple,
1. Surrender to God , know the truth
- 1 John 1:6 If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth (about Jesus).
- 2 Thessalonians 2:10 and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth (about Jesus) and so be saved.
- 2 Thessalonians 2:13 But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth.
2. Against the devil play offense, but against sexual sin play defense,
- “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” 1 Cor 6:18
Saturday morning class (7-9am) – Help for sexual struggles
Through long and painful experience, we came to realize that we were powerless over our sexual thoughts and behaviours. Our preoccupation as men with sex causes progressively severe adverse consequences for us, our families, and our friends. Despite many failed promises to ourselves and attempts to change, we discovered that we were unable to stop acting out sexually by ourselves. As a fellowship of men of valour, i-Stopped class offers a message of hope to anyone who suffers from sex struggles. This class is held in South C with support of Mavuno church leadership on Saturday 7am to 9am for 8 – 12 weeks.
So here is a small test we came up with as a self evaluation. Imagine God asking you these questions not for condemnation but to help you.
Do you feel like you been alone in this fight, please keep a mental note of the answers or comment your answers on this survey.
Fun the flame of God in you
Are you ready to be consumed by the fire of God? Keep the fire burning in you.
Jesus Didn’t “Just” Die On The Cross…
Jesus Christ didn’t “just” die on the cross for us.
He gave up the chance to get married,
To have children,
To watch them grow,
To teach them to walk,
To teach them to talk,
To hold them in His arms.
He gave up the opportunity to have a career,
… To be successful in business,
To make a name for himself,
To be a community leader.
He gave up sunrises and sunsets,
Stargazing and full moons,
And listening to the waves crash against the shore.
He gave up the chance to sit around the fire with friends,
To tell jokes and to laugh at himself.
He gave up the chance to have every good thing people cherish in this life in exchange for a wooden cross, three nails, and a slow, excruciating death.
He gave up those things, He made that exchange, so you and I wouldn’t “just” have those things to look forward to at the start of each day.
Something to think about this Easter season.
Ref: http://rabidmongoose.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/jesus-didnt-just-die-on-the-cross/
Between Us Guys : The Truth About Pornography [video]
Amazing blog post. Please check it out.
Combat with porn is probably (still) the biggest issue Christian men wrestle with that no one talks about. Serious discussions about sexuality are embarrassing and uncomfortable. Too many churches are silent. And many are not proactive regarding faith-based sex education.
Lessons like this one can break the ice and be used to introduce a more comprehensive curriculum that is desperately needed in many Christian homes and churches. We can’t afford to become even more irrelevant and unconvincing in today’s rapidly changing culture.
Ref: Between Us Guys (Part 3): The Truth About Pornography .
Source: Darrell Martin and SameSexAttractions.wordpress.com
Setting boundaries is important in sexual purity
What I have learned from my iStopped journey is you have to build BOUNDARIES from this. And not gray area boundaries, defined boundaries that you can be held accountable to. Titus 2:11-12 is a word that has helped me a lot to create the boundaries and by God’s grace be able to keep the boundaries.
This is what is says, 11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age”
I pray that is you are reading this God will help you identify triggers to why you fall to sexual sin and create healthy boundaries for the glory of the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Here is an article I found online to help you through this.
WHAT IS A TRIGGER?
A trigger is something that gets your attention, pushes a button, and causes you to want to sinfully act out.
For help with porn, lust, and masturbation you can go to http://www.porntopurity.com
Click here to listen to or download the show
WHAT TRIGGERS YOU?
Q: What things excite you and cause you to want to act out?
Q: What things have enticed you right before you have acted out?
Q: Any fetishes or objects that turn you on?
Q: Certain images or porn that you have acted out regularly with?
Q: TV or Movies cause you more problems?
Q: Types of clothing or ways people dress are triggery for you?
Q: Types of conversations are triggery for you?
A HISTORY BEHIND YOUR TRIGGERS
Triggers are historical.
Triggers will happen regardless.
But you’re going to have to be serious about retraining your reaction to these triggers. You have to start running away, clinging to Christ, praying, talking to someone else…something. You have to build a habit of responding in a healthy way to triggers.
I trust this will help you develop your boundaries.
Sourced from : http://104podcast.wordpress.com/2009/09/06/episode-001-identify-the-triggers-in-your-life/
Sex + Love = Unsatisfying Love Life Leading to Porn
Reblogged from:Sex Love = Unsatisfying Love Life Leading to Porn.
We are mistaken if we think sex equals love. Yes, it is an expression of love within a marriage founded on God. But it is not love. And any kind of sex outside of a marriage founded on God is not an expression of love, but merely a physical act.
But in order for a marriage to be founded on God, both the husband and the wife must be each individually in love with God more than each other. We are only truly happy when we put God first above all else, whether we are married or single.
Many seem to think that sex equals love. But what happens when we have this idea in our head? If we think sex equals love, then what happens when our sex life is unsatisfying? Have you ever had sex with your wife, then wanted to look at porn because it “just wasn’t good enough?” If this is how we feel, then something is wrong.
God does not intend that we should look at porn because the last time we had sex wasn’t earth shattering. Understand, my friends, that not every time will be better than the last.
We need to learn to put God first in everything. Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” When we get this right, we will begin to understand what marriage, sex, and most importantly, what love is all about.
Trapped in XXX, Sex or Masturbation???
e-Bible and Mobile Bible
Blog Aggregator
i-Stopped 